Clear jelly
Sasquatch Poopie
Cedar campfire & toasted marshmallow
No sightings reported yet
6 verified sightings
THE CRAPPIEST
MYSTERY IN
CRYPTOZOOLOGY
Small-batch slime inspired by creatures nobody can prove exist. Each jar is packed with weird texture, spooky scent, and mystery charms.
Kid-safe ingredients Packed by humans Charm in every jar
Fresh from the containment unit
LATEST SIGHTINGS
Choose your specimen. Poke it, stretch it, and document everything.
Cloud crème
Yeti Poopie
Frosted vanilla & alpine mint
No sightings reported yet
Bingsu crunch
Mothman Poopie
Black cherry & electric ozone
No sightings reported yet
Butter slime
Chupacabra Poopie
Prickly pear & desert lime
No sightings reported yet
Thick & glossy
Goatman Poopie
Wet timber & sour green apple
No sightings reported yet
Clear slime
Dogman Poopie
Bayou moss & moonlit citrus
No sightings reported yet
Squishy stress orbs
Extraterrestrial Testicles
Cosmic melon & ionized stardust
No sightings reported yet
Field guide no. 001
HOW TO HANDLE AN UNKNOWN GOO
Slime gets weird. That is the point. Follow the protocol and your specimen will stay gloriously squishy.
01
Wash up
Clean, dry hands keep your slime fresh and its evidence uncontaminated.
02
Slow stretch
Warm it with gentle pokes before pulling. Never yank cold slime.
03
Fix the stick
Mix one teaspoon borax into one cup warm water. Add one drop at a time.
04
Seal the beast
Return it to the jar after play. Store cool, dry, and out of direct sun.
A totally legitimate research facility
WE CAPTURE THE LEGENDS.
YOU SQUISH THE EVIDENCE.
CryptidCrap began after one suspicious footprint, three missing marshmallows, and a bucket of glue. Now every batch is mixed by hand and assigned a wildly unofficial case number.